Arizona Woman
Amanda. Raw and real and rough and remarkable.
She loved animals and had pretty much devoted her life to them. So obviously we connected right away. It was beautiful to hear her heart through the stories she told of riding bareback in her youth and running wild with the dogs through open field. Amanda was an Arizona woman through and through. Skin tough as a cactus, humor dry as the desert, heart loud as a coyote in the night.
Helping care for her animals which included four dogs (+ a constant flux of fosters in and out), two cats, three horses (+ the neighbor's five horses she sometimes cared for too), and her beloved mule was a wonderful way to spend my time in exchange for a place to stay and something to eat. Though Amanda and Greg (her husband) truly went above and beyond. From the day I arrived I felt like a member of the family. I came to love helping cook dinner and everyone sitting down to eat together. That was something I hadn't had much of in my college years.
It's amazing how something that simple can have such an impact on how we feel. We humans are communal creatures by nature and it is frankly quite sad how individualistic so many of our lives have become. I never want to be in a place again where sharing a meal feels like such a novelty. But at that time it did. And it healed me in ways I didn't know I was broken. It filled me up and made it clear that I belonged. I was wanted. It's simple when you say it, but it can be huge when you feel that after not having felt it for a while.
And so I very quickly felt this house turn into a home and these strangers turn into family.
Amanda loved her mule, Ruby, as stubborn as she was. When Ruby didn't want to move, good luck trying to get her going. She was a force of nature just like Amanda. And what a team they were. Amanda could get Ruby to do things no one else could. She was just as stubborn as her mule. It was a connection you could tell had been formed over many years. Ruby was rescued when she was two, because she had an issue with her hip her previous owner could not afford to deal with. Amanda took her in and nursed her back to health. She is now strong and goes on many trail rides with Amanda.
I was inspired by how much energy she gave to life though she was in her sixties. A beautiful reminder that you're only as old as you believe you are. If we stay healthy and active, many of us can enjoy doing the things we love long into our "old" age. Sure, maybe she wasn't galloping around bareback anymore, but she she was still out there enjoying the thing she loved most.
While I was there, we trained together for a competition that was being held outside of Phoenix. There was an eventing trail course to complete and then you had to do a series of tasks like opening/closing a gate with one hand or doing a 360 pivot. Probably sounds easier than it was. Especially considering how stubborn Ruby was and that Prince, the horse I was riding, had never done anything of the sort before. We definitely weren't the best ones at the competition- at one point there was someone holding a big flag you had to ride past and, though Prince was massive, he was terrified of it.
Amanda knew how to make the most of a situation and take pleasure in the act of doing something just because you enjoy it rather than worrying about the outcome. I remember her standing on the sideline, laughing and cheering me on as I worked to get Prince past the flag. Eventually we succeeded, steering as far to the side as possible as we passed, a wide grin on my face. It wasn't about winning a ribbon or proving anything to anyone for Amanda. She just loved the challenge. I think so many of us, including myself, don't do things because we don't think we're "good enough". Especially in a public scenario such as this competition.
But Amanda serves as a reminder to me to do those things anyways. She's definitely one of the people who gave me enough confidence in myself do something like write this blog. It's something I've wanted to do for a while but kept putting off, not sure if it would be any good. But when I think of Amanda and how confidently she tried new things no matter how good she was, I realized how silly I was being.
I think when we do the things we love to do, even if we don't fit the standard of what is "good", the heart of it really shows through. Your passion is so uniquely you and that makes it beautiful. I think we all have a bit of that Arizona woman hidden inside us. So be raw and real and rough and remarkable. be tough and own who you are- don't waste your energy on what other people may think or say. Let your heart be loud. Remember where you came from. And always remember to make it fun.
I found your blog. I’m immersing myself in each one. You are so gifted. Such an insightful writer. My girl, sunshine of my life, I’m proud to be learning new ways of looking at life through you.
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