in silence at sunrise

 It took me a minute to locate my phone which had crept to the very bottom of my sleeping bag as it sounded the alarm- time to get up. I scrambled out of my tent into the darkness. Quietly I changed into my hiking clothes under the light of the moon and slipped into my down jacket to cut off the chill of the early morning (or late night? depending on your perspective) air. As I laced up my boots, I watched Rainer's flashlight beaming through his tent as he got himself ready. 

With our bags packed including breakfast snacks, we headed off towards the base of the mountain. The sound of the ocean slowly faded as we made our way further from the campsite set right next to the beach, but the smell of it lingered with us. I checked my watch as we reached the beginning of the trail. 2:45 am. Perfect. Sunrise would begin around 5:40am so our goal was to reach the top by 5:30. 

It started off uphill immediately but we climbed our way through the rocky terrain quickly. I clicked my headlamp again, hoping it would get brighter. It was so dim I could barely see right in front of me. But when I clicked it again it turned off and it wasn't coming back on. Dead. Whoops. We made do though. Rainer let me climb in front of him so I could use his light to see a bit of where I was going. Really though, after my eyes adjusted, it wasn't too hard to see. 

The pain in my knees started soon after we began our ascent. I sort of knew it was coming but it still took me by surprise. I've been blessed so far in life to not have many major issues with my body. But I'd spent the past four days stomping around at a doof. And I mean I was really stomping the entire time. Probably not the best for my knees. Hiking and dancing for a few weeks straight was starting to take its toll I suppose. It was all very much worth it.

We talked and laughed on the way up, but I couldn't tell you now what we talked about. Probably a bit of everything. Rainer was a really deep thinker and knew how to spark really interesting conversation. I found him to be extremely intriguing. He'd lived a very unusual life and had a very unique perspective on the world that was really beautiful to hear. But that's another story. 

Light was subtly making its way into the sky as we neared the top. I was thankful for it as I looked at the massive boulders we were about to scramble up. This is definitely one of those things your mom hates to hear (so sorry in advance mom). We were crawling on hands and knees, avoiding looking back at the definitely fatal drop below us. I was glad for my rock climbing experience because it was definitely veering closer to that than your average hike. 

Eventually we'd somehow scaled our way up the cliff face and began walking on mostly solid ground. The top was just in front of us as the light began to break into the sky. I found my way up one last set of rocks before the sky opened to meet me. It was one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen. With a 360 view, I could see the mountains behind me glowing with a gentle hint of orange and the ocean in front of me twinkling and reflecting a pinkish light. 

For a while we just stood there in silence, taking in the sunrise. It was one of those moments of utter peace and inner calm. I don't know if everyone experiences this, but when I find myself somewhere that beautiful, any worry I have instantly fades. Seeing the expansive beauty of the earth really reminds me how everything is in place. We're so small compared to the vastness of it all. And that's okay. To me, that feels right. Like something you keep forgetting but then when you remember it you think 'Oh, yes of course, how could I have forgotten?'. The world is not revolving around me or you or anyone else. We're just little pieces of a giant puzzle we can't ever truly comprehend. And doesn't that actually come as a relief?

We don't have to try so hard all the time. It's simply not our job. The world is already turning and shifting how it needs to. And we are a part of that world, so I know it is shifting and changing us too. I think one of the many lessons we can glean from reconnecting with the natural world is the sense of order. There is a place for us all and we all serve an important role. Life may not always be great or even okay at times but that's just the way of things. Sometimes its sunny and sometimes it rains. But we're here and all we really have to do is be ourselves. The world will find our place for us.